I’m sorry. Those are words that you need to hear, but you may not have heard them yet. So, I am sorry that you are hurting.
You are hurt and confused. You thought this relationship was the end of the games, the confusion and the hurt. You’ve thought, “Given the pain I’ve been through, there can’t be more.” Yet here you are again, alone with the pieces of your fragmented heart, wondering how it could happen again. After all of the time that you spent rebuilding and learning to trust again, how are you sitting in your room, crying over someone?
It will be your first inclination to close off that wonderful heart of yours. You are thinking, “That’s it. I’m not doing this again. I don’t ever want to hurt like this ever again.” Please don’t hide that light from the world. Not everyone will speak lies. Not everyone will betray you. Not everyone will hurt you in your weakest moments. But everyone DOES see that glittering light that shines from your soul, and they are drawn to your love and joy. Don’t let him/her steal that from you on top of everything else.
You are asking yourself, “How will I ever trust anyone again? How will I ever trust myself again?” You will. Not today, and probably not tomorrow; but you will. How do I know? Because that’s what makes you you. Your resilient heart, your enduring optimism, and the light that you see in every other person. You have your own beautifully unique way of reaching others. Only you can love people the way that you do. Don’t let anyone put out your light.
Don’t run away from those wonderful friends and family in your life; those people who see your worth and never capitalize on your love. They will endure with you, encourage you, and speak truth to you. (Even when you don’t want to hear the truth). They will listen with love and care for you in the ways that you need.
Do listen to your feelings. Do feel. Do process with your closest people. Do trust again, it will be worth it. The right person will never let you feel like this. The right person will never let you question your worth. The right person will see you, all of your darkness and scarring, and they will still choose you. The right person will make you feel like you are the only person in the world that they could possibly love. The right person will be the one who makes you feel alive again.
For now, let that person be you. Love You with all that you have. You are worth loving. Your heart is worth protecting. Your mind is worth knowing. Your soul is worth celebrating.
You will wake up one morning and the ache will be a memory; you will breathe deeply into your soul and celebrate the new adventures you are about to embark on. When that day comes, I hope I can join you on that journey.