As a wedding photographer, I encounter a lot of well-intentioned happy people in love, and several unhappily single people. As a result, a common thread surfaces. My singleness.
There are so many blog posts are articles written by married people about how important it is to wait and cherish your single years. As a single person reading those, they can be inspiring– but the underlying message STILL seems to be that single people should be happy being single so that they can be happy being married. I just wanted to write a “quick” note to all of my single friends.
What about being content in your singleness for that sake alone? Not every one gets married, and we need to start removing the perspective that marriage is the ultimate goal in life. Yes.We’re made for relationships; we thrive together. Why is there this obsession with a romantic relationship being the ultimate goal? When did marriage become THE fulfilling relationship to pursue? I have so many deep and fulfilling friendships in my life. I would say that if I was to enter into a relationship, that those friendships would be the reason any romantic relationship could thrive or survive.
I’ve gotten to a place in my life and in my heart where God has captivated me so entirely that THIS relationship is the one that I want. I don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship unless I can see how it would be a part of what is already happening in my life in regards to the journey that I’m on with Jesus and I would want that guy to feel the same way. As a result of that, I am SO happy with loving myself, and getting to know myself more and more each day. I love pursuing growth and understanding in myself. It’s almost like I’m dating me!
Oh fellow single friends, my hope and prayer for you is that you could discover this in your life. Be so content, confident in who you are and happy with yourself that nothing can sway you. There is nothing more satisfying than to pursue life fully, embracing what is NOW and enjoying life alone. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-relationships. I have an open heart and open hands to what the future holds, but my life is already so rich in love and joy as a single woman. Other people are much more dismayed about my marital status than I am.When I use the phrase “If I ever get married” a gasp can be heard, and I’m assured, “Don’t worry, you’ll get married someday.” I’m not worried. If I end up married, I end up married. If I end up single all my days, I end up not married.. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard, “How are YOU single?” If I wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of having a relationship, I could. That’s not the point of life though.
IF I ever marry, I will be able to say without a doubt that the guy I end up with was someone so incredible, so perfect for me, that his life was so aligned with the direction I was headed that I was willing to give up my singleness for him. Because, YES, being single IS THAT AWESOME. Sure, that sounds pretty crazy. Maybe even selfish. Isn’t it more selfish to sit around waiting for some unknown, desperately putting everything on hold, and not doing something purposeful with our lives? Let’s start being more protective of our hearts and our lives. Don’t forget that you ARE worth loving, you are loved. I’m so tired of this whole “True Love Waits” idea. You’re not waiting. A true, perfect, selfless love has already come for you.